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Thankfully They Only Come Once Every Four Years

Nothing in the sporting to the max annoys me more than the coverage devoted to the Olympics.

For starters, a enormous portion of the events are rudimentary contests (fastest, farthest, highest, heaviest) where there are no option routes to athletic success (the kind of strategizing and randomness that acquire watching sports interesting). Is it neat to know who the fastest person is? Sure, but a single sentence in the next morning’s newspaper is all it will take to mollify that interest. I’m well aware of the years of training Olympic athletes go through in harmony to push the boundaries of what the human body is capable of, but one-dimensional tests are equitable plain dull. What should any given silver medalist have done differently? Not have slipped, or gone faster? Wow, we’ll all be talking about that the dogs, lift, jump for years to come (or until that record is tamed again in four years).

Same thing with all this Michael Phelps nonsense. Most gold medals in CV? Big deal. He’s the biggest fish in a very small pond. The creation’s best athletes don’t flock to swimming. I’m well aware that no baseball or soccer gamester can beat Phelps in a pool, but the inverse applies as well. Can we please get on to the next 47-month extend when no one cares about competitions like who can swim the fastest?

“Women” gymnasts are on par with grandeur children.

Human interest stories make me nauseous. All the producers and anchors that business on these broadcasts, with their truly inspiring stories with montages and soap opera scores that seem to be in the driver's seat half the coverage should be pulled out of their studios by the hair, thrown into the roadway, and beaten to death with gardenhoses filled with leadshot. If you muse over I’m being harsh, please watch five minutes of Tiki Barber and Jenna Wolfe on MSNBC’s Olympic Update and keep your ears unsealed for the mention of the nation of Hungaria, USA basketball coach Mike Rezevski and hundreds of Chinese volunteers cleaning up algae with their hands.

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